The Aeneid

What Is Love, Baby Don’t Hurt Me

How do humans define love? Is it found in the warm feeling found in another? Is it found in the benefits that the person or object brings? More importantly, what do humans love? Do they love objects, things that bring them pleasure for a short amount of time, or do they love something that can reciprocate their love, another person? Humans tend to be selfish, therefore loving an object that brings them pleasure and loving another person that can reciprocate their love always brings them the benefit. They love in order to gain. But the questions is, who benefits more, the person loving or the person being loved? Also, is Aristotle’s view on love correct?

What is love, found in the confines of a friendship? In the text it says, “Friends must, therefore, have goodwill toward/ each other and not go unnoticed in their wishing for the good things for/ the other, on account of some one of the (loveable) things mentioned.” (116. 1156a. 3-5) If you love someone, you wish for good things for that person. People have to wish goodwill towards others. It makes no sense to wish goodwill towards an inanimate object that they love. This shows the difference between loving material things and the love friends have for each other. For example, one cannot wish good things to their cars or their money; however, one should wish good things to happen to their close friends. The text says, “it is perhaps laughable to wish for good things for the wine,/ but, if anything, one wishes that it be preserved so that one may have it.” (116. 1155b. 29-30) The love one has for objects and material things is selfish, but the love one has for a friend, if he wishes goodwill towards him, is not selfish.

What do humans love? Materially speaking, they could love what brings them benefit. If someone had a car, they love that car because it provides transportation. If someone loves a certain type of food, they love it because it provides them pleasure. This type of love could be found between two people. This type of friend is a utility friend. They provide the other with something that they cannot attain on their own. They still have a love for the other. The text says, “Those who love each other on account of utility, then, do not love/ each other in themselves, but only insofar as they come to have something/ good from the other.” (166. 1156a. 10-13) Also, later on in the paragraph it says, “Therefore,/ those who love on account of utility feel affection for the sake of their/ own good, just as those who love on account of pleasure feel affection for/ the sake of their own pleasure.” (116. 1156a. 14-17) Therefore, it can be concluded that Aristotle’s view of love is that people love to get something from it. People love to gain.

I, however, disagree with this view on love. I think that love should be more than just what a person can gain from it. Utility friendships are not real love, it is superficial. A love someone has for another person should be based off more than just what they can give them. The mindset a person should have is not what they can get from a person, but what they can give. A love a person has for an inanimate object is not real love either, that love is based off of the pleasure one receives. Also, loving someone just because they can reciprocate love is not true love either. If someone only loves because they want to be loved in return, it is selfish. Being loved is wonderful. This is a pleasured-based love. The purest form of love is loving someone and wishing goodwill towards them. I agree with Aristotle in this thought, that if someone loves another, they have to wish good things towards that person. This is a selfless love, and what I consider to be the true definition of love. Therefore, I do not completely disagree with Aristotle on the definition of love. I believe that pleasure-based love is not true love; yet, love is selfless. Another imposing question is, who benefits more, the person loving or the person being loved. The answer depends on the person. A selfish person would say the person being loved. They would think it is better to gain something for another. However, the selfless person, who experiences real love, would answer the question that the person who benefits more is the person who is giving love. That is the true definition of love.