The Aeneid

Carli Schofield

Great Books 1

Andrew Jacobs

2 December 2018

Rollercoaster of a Semester

Four years of high school was as easy as riding a bike for me. It was a breeze. I had my friends, sports, and I went to an amazing school. I knew my identity. I played basketball and volleyball player at ACA. I had everything figured out for me, so the thought of leaving my comfort zone was absolutely terrifying. I also had figured out what I wanted to do next. I wanted to play volleyball at a school far far away from where I grew up. God, however, had a completely different plan for me. I ended up going to school right next to my high school playing a sport I, arguably, loved more than volleyball. It all seemed perfect. I was going to be in a place that was very similar to my comfort zone. And it was going to be great. I was so ready for what I thought college would be like. I had everything figured out just as I always used to. But apparently I was wrong. I was far from prepared.  

In the weeks I was preparing to enter into my college years, I met a boy that I knew I would fall hard for. He was also an up coming freshman that was going to play soccer. Oh, how I thought he was the dictionary definition of perfection. He was tall, good-looking, and seemed to be the sweetest boy I could have possibly ever met. During this time, I was beginning to make some of the best friends I could have asked for. I never doubted my ability to make solid friends, but to meet my first college boyfriend that was seemily as perfect as this boy appeared to be, was too good to be true. However, it was exactly that. It was all too good to be true. About two months into college, the trip on cloud nine came to a heartbreaking halt when our relationship came to an abrupt end. The boy who I thought hung the moon changed into a boy who I couldn’t recognize, which broke my heart even more. This heartbreak did have its silver lining. This heartbreak showed how well I did when I chose my close friends. These girls tended to my wounds and nursed me back to health. The sadness lingered for while, however, joy did not leave me because I had such a solid support system. “Some go through life together with another who chooses the same things as he does, or who shares in sufferings and joys with his friend” (Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics 193). According to Aristotle, I may not have gotten through this time successfully without the support of my close friends.

I grew up in the church, I always knew right from wrong. I knew what demons were and I knew that they were nothing pleasant. However, I did not realize just how good demons were at disguising themselves as everything I wanted. I was granted freedom when I went away to college. I did not have my parents looking over my shoulder, my demons knew that. I wanted to have fun, my demons knew that. I wanted to feel more like an adult, my demons knew that. I wanted to get over my break-up, my demons knew that. I wanted to impress others, my demons knew that. I was not fully aware of what I was about to face. My demons were right there with me. They constantly egged me on. Telling me to fill myself with what I thought I needed. Now I will have to resist the urge to join my demons for the rest of my life. My demons had gotten me distracted from my school work, from focusing on basketball, and from focusing on my relationship with God. Now I know I will always have an internal battle with them.

And now, I had finally hit the stage in my life that every college freshmen hits. I was officially lost. I forgot the reason I had even went to college in the first place. I was rethinking my major, rethinking being at Faulkner, even rethinking my decision in pursuing college after my high school graduation. My mind automatically went to finding a new occupation. I looked it up and did my research. Being a flight attendant did not require schooling and you got to travel the world wearing a cute little uniform with a tie. What a wonderful job! However, I knew I was being silly in thinking these things. But I could not shake the thought that I just was not the Faulkner fit. I felt like this was not the place for me. I was simply sitting around searching for what I really needed, because I was sure I had made some sort of mistake. I was waiting for the light to shine my way; “... until some clear light should come by which I could direct my course” (Confessions, 89). I wanted a change. I wanted to get out of the mindset I was in. I wanted to enjoy college. I wanted to simply be as happy as I was at the beginning of the semester.

I realized, perhaps a little to late, that the change I needed was a change in my attitude. Then, I remembered why I came here in the first place. I came to this university so I could grow spiritually, play the game I love, and study speech pathology. I came here because it was similar to my comfort zone. I needed to remember that. I needed to get away from my many demons that were attempting to lead me astray. I needed to redirect my focus on the things above and to focus on glorifying God. In high school, I always excelled in the classroom with no trouble. But this first semester at Faulkner I know I could have pushed myself harder academically. But the thing about me is that I know I will always be able to play catch-up. I will start next semester with a brand new fresh start. My first semester of college was filled with many highs and lows. I battled many of my demons, I leaned on many shoulders of my loyal friends and, after all is said and done, I will come out on the other side a better version of myself. And I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me.